The Value of Revealing Imperfection

Leaders, teachers, speakers, advisers, consultants, or anyone who appears in such positions, want to present themselves as knowledgeable, informed and confident. They wouldn’t be doing what they are unless they had some background or expertise, thought the information was important, and had the self-confidence to present the information to others. Although everyone tries to appear perfect, sometimes we forget that showing flaws may be the best teaching method of all. None of us is perfect and none of the information we have is complete. Every piece of data we have learned is subject to change, increase in knowledge and modification. Human beings are inherently striving, learning, growing and changing every minute of their lives. So, should we just give up and “wing it,” “fly by the seat of our pants,” and be sloppy in our work and in passing on tools and education? Of course not!  Everyone needs to be as thoughtful, precise, accurate and diligent as we can when we seek to support, help and inform others. Vince Lombardi once said, “Perfection is not attainable, but if we chase perfection we can catch excellence.” It is our obligation as communicators of knowledge and skills to take pride in our work and teaching as we pursue excellence. Having said that, many of us were taught that we had to be perfect. If we failed in any respect, it meant that we were unlovable, incapable, or inadequate. Mistakes were unacceptable and unforgivable. This places a terrible burden on a child to achieve the unattainable and tells them that what they do is more important than who they are. This lesson...
Trusting Your Truth

Trusting Your Truth

In these days of the uncertainty of “alternative facts”, media hype, changing values, moving targets of political parties and the lack of consensus with the core view of what our country, our families, friends and communities agree upon, I find that most people I talk to have an underlying feeling of anxiety and depression. This tension in the public sector is being felt in our bodies, minds and spirits as we seek to reconcile our outer world with seeking our inner truth. Conflicts within family, friends and social gatherings are still seeking equilibrium as the conflicting political situation is still unresolved in the country and around the globe. So how do we find our Truth and stay in Trust and Serenity when so much is unsettled around us? Discovering your truth: We are taught at a young age to listen our parents, the teachers at school, learn from our books, believe the dogma of our religious leaders and trust our elected officials. This is a good way to learn as a child when we need to understand a complex world with many layers of facts, beliefs, cultural backgrounds and social systems to live in. Once we become adults, we need to learn another way to find our personal truth. To discern whether what we are being told is opinion, fact, belief, history (a story based on facts, recreations of events from the ‘winner’s’ perspective), science, feeling or influence by a person’s past and their perspective. We need to shift information and come to our own conclusion to determine what we think or believe. But very few of us are...
Disruption in the World can be healed by Forgiveness and Self-Love

Disruption in the World can be healed by Forgiveness and Self-Love

Do you find yourself walking around during the day angry, bitter and confused? Are you trying to move on with your life but feeling out of sorts, unable to distinguish between truth, illusion, reality, ‘alternative facts’, and hype?  Are you experiencing disruptions in the world and short tempers at home? Join the crowd. In addition to the emotional upsets flooding the country over the political situation, the divisiveness after the election and the international responses that have occurred, many areas of the country have been experiencing devastating fires, floods, tornadoes, mudslides and other natural disasters. So, what do you do when these negative feelings eat up your energy, turn your life upside down and continue to wreak turmoil days, weeks and months later? Acknowledge and accept what is surrounding you. Why? Because we cannot heal what we don’t know is wounded. We can’t fix what we can’t see is broken. We can’t forgive what we don’t acknowledge is hurting. If we are stuck in blame, making someone wrong or bad, fixing fault with another or being defensive, then we cannot take responsibility for our part in creating our reality. Chiron, the wounded healer in astrology, teaches us to heal ourselves before we heal others, thus learning what healing needs to take place. If you are upset about what is going on in the world today, take a look at your life. Is it in turmoil? Are you unhappy with the job you chose, the relationship, the career, the place you live, your lifestyle or your friends? Our outer world is a reflection of our inner world which means a...

2017 Happy Resolutions

We all know by now that traditional New Year’s Resolutions don’t work. Studies reveal only 8% succeed at fulfilling their resolutions and 49% are infrequently successful because resolution are about changing undesirable traits or altering bad habits. As we have learned from the Law of Attraction, where we put our attention energy flows. I suggest we refocus our resolutions to create Resolutions to bring more happiness and joy into our lives this year. Let’s start small this year with just 5 resolutions. Here are my suggestions: Plan a magic vacation: Sit down with your loved ones or a friend and dream of wherever in the world you would really, really like to go. Then start planning. Get brochures, maps, pictures, histories, things to do in the area, camping equipment, language tapes, plan the cost and begin saving. Set a budget, check out airfares, gas costs, boat rentals, ski rentals…whatever. Half the fun is anticipation. If you have children, get them involved. What do they want to see, do explore, learn? f you just want to go locally to a mountain, lake or stateside destination, plan for a logical time when the weather is good you can ask for time from work, when school is out, coordinate schedules. If your destination is exotic, expensive or time consuming and you are taking the whole family and going to Fuji for example, this may take several years of planning and saving. But check out discount travel sites and last minute travel and cruise internet sites for deals. You don’t need to wait until retirement to have a dream experience. Plan an event/party:...

5 Daily Practices for Happiness

I recently learned that choosing happiness can make a difference in your life and health. For 10 years Harvard Professor Shawn Anchor studied happiness and reported his findings in his book The   Happiness Advantage: If we can get somebody to raise their levels of optimism or deepen their social connection or raise happiness, [it] turns out every single business and educational outcome we know how to test for improves dramatically. You can increase your success rates for the rest of your life and your happiness levels will flat line, but if you raise your level of happiness and deepen optimism it turns out every single one of your success rates rises dramatically compared to what it would have been at negative, neutral, or stressed. If we take a positive approach to life, we are more likely to succeed. I have followed the KISS principle (Keep It Simple Sweetie). Here are my 5 happiness principles: Be Positive: I choose to focus on the positive and see happiness surrounding me every day. I appreciate the sunshine and the rain; the birds singing, the squirrels running up the trees; my computer working daily; the family and friends and pets in my life. There is beauty all around if we choose to see it. I am optimistic. Be Grateful: I am grateful for waking up every morning healthy, with a home, a job, money to pay the bills, food on the table and to share, my cats to share my life, my healing work, my connection to Spirit, my friends, family, neighbors and clients. Be Loving: I say ‘I love you’ to my...

Healing Family Estrangements

I often hear heartbreaking stories by many people who talk of family members they haven’t seen, spoken to or been in contact with for years or decades. Our family of origin gives us our first experiences of life and love. They teach us how to interact with each other and the planet in intimate ways that we never really lose. The bonds created in the early formative years sink deeply in our brains, emotions, physical and spiritual natures. When those bonds break or are stretched across time and space our hearts feel the loss and grieve. Why should you even be concerned about healing the estrangement in your family? If you’ve done fine without them for this long, why change now? Because if you have cut off your parents then the pattern may continue with your children. They may deliberately walk away from you if you don’t learn how to heal these family wounds. Then the pattern will repeat again in the next generation. If your siblings are at odds, then it may continue with fragmented families in future generations. We lose our support systems when we lose family connections. Sometimes we or they feel justified in cutting the ties. Disastrous divorces with bitter custody disputes often cut off parents from access to children. The custodial parent may think the child is better off with the other parent in their life because of religious, lifestyle, drug, alcohol or abuse issues but child/parental bonds are inherently strong and continue years after non-custodial parents give up and abandon the fight. The hole in the life of both the parent and child...