5 Hints to Find Balance in Chaos

The past several weeks have brought a lot of upheaval to many lives some good, some not-so-good. Expectations regarding the future of our president, our government, of the new direction of our country in the next 4 years were overturned by a new candidate and unpredicted events in the usual course of politics. Confusion is the prevailing emotion because none of the analysts, newscasters and public figures can anticipate the normal course of business of government based upon the past record of President-elect Trump since there is no past record. So uncertainly and unease are now the norm. How do we deal with this uncertainty in the upcoming months until we know what impact Trump’s Presidency will have on our day-to-day lives? The answer is to stay balanced and centered within yourself. Here are 5 simple ways to help us find our balance: 1. Acknowledge Reality: Face the facts and accept them. The fact is Trump is our President-Elect and will take office. Breathe. It is reality. Do not anticipate the worst, hope for the best. No matter what the President wants to do personally, he is still constrained by the Constitution and the good intentions of the advisors and elected officials that serve this country. Learn to trust the system. Until we accept the reality we cannot begin to change our feelings or behavior. The past cannot be changed so acknowledge and accept what is. 2. Express your emotions: Do not ignore your feelings of disappointment, fear, grief, anger or betrayal. If we ignore, stuff or disregard those feelings, they are likely to come out at inappropriate moments....

Healing Family Estrangements

I often hear heartbreaking stories by many people who talk of family members they haven’t seen, spoken to or been in contact with for years or decades. Our family of origin gives us our first experiences of life and love. They teach us how to interact with each other and the planet in intimate ways that we never really lose. The bonds created in the early formative years sink deeply in our brains, emotions, physical and spiritual natures. When those bonds break or are stretched across time and space our hearts feel the loss and grieve. Why should you even be concerned about healing the estrangement in your family? If you’ve done fine without them for this long, why change now? Because if you have cut off your parents then the pattern may continue with your children. They may deliberately walk away from you if you don’t learn how to heal these family wounds. Then the pattern will repeat again in the next generation. If your siblings are at odds, then it may continue with fragmented families in future generations. We lose our support systems when we lose family connections. Sometimes we or they feel justified in cutting the ties. Disastrous divorces with bitter custody disputes often cut off parents from access to children. The custodial parent may think the child is better off with the other parent in their life because of religious, lifestyle, drug, alcohol or abuse issues but child/parental bonds are inherently strong and continue years after non-custodial parents give up and abandon the fight. The hole in the life of both the parent and child...

Recognizing Ancestral Trauma to Heal for Happiness

The most frequent question I get from clients is how do I know if this issue I have in my life is right for Ancestral Lineage Clearing or is it a past life problem, a curse, a karma challenge or  did I just make a bad turn when I was young? Actually, it is fairly easy to tell if the issue that is disrupting your happiness arises from your ancestral heritage—take a look at the other members of your family and your family history and see if they have the same or similar issues–look at your extended family, not just your parent or siblings. Let take some examples so you can see what I mean.   Many clients come to me with a variety of financial challenges—not just poverty, as in “I can’t get a job, I can’t make money”—but issues about not having enough money or losing money: I can’t get a decent job; I make a lot of money then my partner steals my business; the industry I was trained has disappeared and I have no other skills; I lost it all my money in the stock market; my business went bankrupt; all my retirement money was lost when my company closed down; I got cancer and had no insurance and all my money went to health care…. Some have been in positions of money, success and power and lost it all and now are bereft. So we take a look at their families—their grandparents immigrants were successful but went through the depression and then lost everything and never recouped. Their grandparents were Native Americans, African-Americans, or Jewish...

Heal for Your Future and Others

Heal for Your Future and Others   We all have 3.2 billion base pair of DNA molecules in our bodies. Most of these are identical with other living species on the planet. What makes humans unique is our self-awareness and our ability to change our environment and our bodies to respond to events.   Changing our DNA patterns is generally a long term process unless there is mutation. DNA is the blueprint that determines our body’s form, much of our health and some of our personality. Science has made massive strides in discovering how these genes operate. In recent years the science of epigenetics (“in addition to changes in genetic sequence”) has emerged and is changing our concepts of how DNA influences our lives.   Caroline Davis2010 _ Foter _ CC BY Genetics is the study of the DNA we inherit from our parents and their ancestors. When a baby is born this DNA is inherited in an almost pure form with very few attachments.   Epigenetics are the ‘attachments’ we all collect during life–physical, emotional, environmental, mental etc. Scientist have found these epigenetics are important because they are the triggers that turn on certain diseases, behaviors and other health factors in our DNA such MS, heart disease, diabetes, cancer and autoimmune diseases.   If you think of DNA as an ice cream cone (like a portion of the DNA helix) epigenetics is the ice cream we fill in with our life experience. It is the food we eat, the air we breathe, the abuse we encounter, the emotional attachments we make, our lifestyle choices–smoking, drinking, exercise, learning–and the...

You are the Core of 7 Generations

Seven generations is a basic decision-making concept in Native American tradition. Although in our American consumer culture we tend to associate it with the concept of green products because of the now pervasive “Seven Generation” brand of eco-friendly products (Yeah!) that basically started the revolution in sustainability. It originated with the Iroquois– Great Law of the Iroquois – which holds appropriate to think seven generations ahead (about 140 years into the future) and decide whether the decisions they make today would benefit their children seven generations into the future.” wikipedia.org/wiki/Seven_generation_sustainability. The seven generations concept is actually pervasive in the native culture. No person should make any major decisions affecting their life, their family, their community or their interaction with outsiders without consideration of how such decision will affect their descendants down to the seventh generation. I don’t know if it is just my quirky mind but I always wanted to know: why 7 generations? Why not 5? Or 10? Or 3? Or 12?  Somehow no one I asked seemed to have the answer. I think I have discovered it on my own. My family is having a reunion this summer for the first time in over 20 years. My parents are now dead and thankfully all my siblings are still living. As I was going through my family photos to share at the reunion I found a photo from my childhood. I am sitting with my great-grandmother, Elizabeth, my grandmother, Theresa, and my mother, Catherine in my communion dress when I am about 10 years old. Here are 4 generations of “Thomas” women in one picture. Then I considered...

Changing at the Crossroads of Today

During our lives we travel through many crossroads choosing one path or another. These choices shape our lives, relationships, character, values and health. These choices as much as our heritage determine who and what we become in our lives because although our DNA may regulate eye and hair color, height and ethnicity our heritage doesn’t control our free will. The consequences of our choices often have repercussions for generations. The decision to go to college or to go into the family business is a significant choice of seeming finality since it will set in motion a course for the rest of your future. Some choices are difficult for the young to make because it forces them to go against parental desires to follow their heart—Dad always wanted a doctor in the family and son wants to be a rock star. When forced to follow parental or community standards often the individual finds conflict with their life purpose that results in chaos or disaster. For example, in one client session an ancestor became a monk since he was the eldest son even though he had no vocation for the church. He eventually committed suicide because of a horrendous situation. When given a second chance, he chose to marry his sweetheart and have a family. The ancestor and his wife had a lovely life on a farm and their children and the community benefited from their life and happiness. Clearing this unhappy choice and lifetime removed the suicidal depression, conflict with the religious beliefs of the family and anxiety the client had lived with for years. Some look back when they...